WOWZA, it’s been a while since I’ve published a post. For those of you who are new here, I started this blog during one of the busiest seasons of my life—right in in the middle of wedding planning. While some may say I was naive in launching this blog during that season, I believe it was the best time for me to start considering I was full of adrenaline, felt supported by my soon-to-be husband and took a leap of faith in doing something I’ve wanted to do for quite some time.
So, what’s happened since my last post? Well, I became (and stayed) debt free, joined a small group at church, planned a wedding, finished pre-marital counseling and got married all while maintaining my 9-5. A lot of life has happened between those milestones and I can’t wait to share what I’ve learned. However, what I’m most proud of, is learning how to be a wife over the past month.
Now, Steven and I both agreed that pre-marital counseling was a non-negotiable when we became engaged. Over the course of many sessions, we learned how to address common pitfalls married people face as well as breakdown walls we both had prior to becoming one. We didn’t shy away from unspoken topics and we dug deeper into areas we’ve talked about before to uncover unresolved answers or feelings. Having these conversations in a safe space, with a trusted outside opinion, created a unique environment for Steven and I to grow closer together—I am forever grateful for the conversations had with our minister who would later marry us.
I’ll be the first to admit that I love being married to my best friend, but to say that the first month of marriage has been a breeze wouldn’t be the full truth. However, I believe we have been able to take what we’ve learned in pre-marital counseling and truly apply it to our everyday life as husband and wife.
Here are three big takeaways I’ve learned from being married for ONE WHOLE MONTH!!!:
1. Pray together.
This was something very foreign to Steven and I. We’ve gone to church together since we started dating, but we’ve never actually prayed out loud together. However, after attending our small group and seeking counsel, we decided that we should be praying together as husband and wife. We started this new habit immediately on our honeymoon by praying over every meal. Y’all, let me tell you that I full-heartedly believe this action will bring you closer together. You get to experience a connection on a much deeper level and truly see the heart of your partner. While it may feel uncomfortable or even awkward at the beginning, I cannot encourage you enough to keep at it.
2. Be quick to forgive.
This is another area that if I’m being honest, can be hard to do. SO many times I’ve wanted to “be right” or “prove a point,” but in reality, being angry requires a lot more emotion and effort. Also, because Steven and I’s time together is so precious, I hate to spend it angry with one another over a misunderstanding. Instead, I’ve tried to become much more quick to forgive (or say sorry) after an argument. We are all human and fall short, so I believe Steven and I have both given each other grace freely, but we’ve really tried to do a better job of resolving conflict quickly. That’s right, even after one month of marriage we’ve had an argument or two!!
3. Over communicate.
Due to Steven’s profession, we had to determine a strategy to communicate with each other early into our dating life—for those of you who do not know, Steven is a firefighter/paramedic and is on-shift for 24 hours and off for 48. We rarely bring up any “serious” or “need to talk through” topics while Steven is on-shift because at any moment our conversation could end. (Which let me tell you, planning a wedding and having to make decisions together while abiding by this strategy was tough!) However, during our first pre-marital counseling session, we talked about the importance of communicating with your spouse and I don’t think we really grasped just how important it is. Sure, we all have those moments where we think the other person knows us so well that we don’t have to explain ourselves… But unfortunately, neither Steven nor I married a mind reader. Within this first month of marriage, we’ve learned the importance of over-communicating and truly leaning on each other as our first line of communication.
I’m sure we will be learning many more lessons along the way, but there’s no one else I’d rather have be my side in doing so. Being a wife for the past month has brought me the greatest joy I’ve ever known and knowing I get to do life with my best friend is truly the greatest gift from God.